Once Again
by AngieLightwood95
Summary: Heart break after heart break. Clary couldn't take any more. But what happens when a mysterious stranger comes into her life and changes everything. Will he change her for good? Or hurt her again and force Clary to resort to her old ways? AU/AH/OOC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hiiiii! This is my first ever fanfic. This is just a little snippet of whats to come. I hope you guys enjoy it.**

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I'm terrified. I'm terrified of being left. I'm terrified of being abandoned by someone who meant everything to me. I'm terrified of the darkness that will swallow me up whole as I watch another person walk out of my life and take another piece of my fragile heart with them. But I'm used to it. I've watched so many people enter my life and tell me that "they'll always be there", and that "they'll never leave me". But it still hurts so much every time they break their promises and go back on their words. But the thing that hurts the most is knowing that I fell for the same lies all over again, that I had a second chance with someone new and that I messed it all up. And no matter how much I tell myself next time will be different, it never is. I didn't want to feel the hurt of abandonment again, so I put up wall. Walls so high and impenetrable that not even I knew if they could be destroyed. I became heartless. I threw people off with my attitude and dirty looks. I gave up on forming new bonds and relationships with people. I forced myself to rely on nobody not even myself. I resorted to any means to keep people away. I isolated myself from everyone and anything, cared about nothing except my health and education. I forced myself to never allow myself to fall for someone's word or action ever again. And even though I knew I was pushing away and hurting the few who stayed by my side no matter how distant I became, it didn't matter. Yet every night I'd still go home and cry myself to sleep, wishing, hoping, praying that someone would come into my life and change my view on life and on love. Someone who wouldn't leave me just like everyone else had. But no one came. I waited and waited and waited yet no one came. So I gave up, I continued acting like a bitch, never believing anything anyone said and not caring about the people I was hurting in the process. That was working until someone came into my life unexpected, saw straight my tough girl façade and broke down my walls as if it was nothing, without me even knowing. I went back on the promise I made to myself all those years ago and fell for them. I fell for his smile, his words, the way he would comfort me when I felt like everything was going wrong. I found solace in his arms and in the look in his eyes. He managed the impossible. He made me forget. I was no longer the person I wanted to me, I was no longer guarded and defensive. I began to smile more, to laugh more, and to sing, to paint and enjoy life more. But most importantly I began to love and trust once more.

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**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this little, minuscule chapter. This has been sitting on my laptop for like agessssssss and this is the first time I've felt brave enough to publish it. More will come very very soon my darlings. Please please pretty please review. I would love your feedback, negative or positive I don't mind. Let me know what you think.**

**Thank you my lovelys. Until next time xo**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: OMG guys. I seriously did not expect the response I got. At least not in one day! Thank you thank you thank you so much. This has seriously made my day. I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone to favourited, followed and reviewed the last chapter. I wanted to get up this first official chapter up as soon as possible! I've been up for the majority of the past 24 hours writing this chapter. I'm so sorry if its super short and a bit crappy. I promise the next one will so much better!**

** AnnieBea: thank you so much for helping me realise that I made a silly mistake hahaha and for your awesome review :D**

**lovemyblackcat: thank you for you're amazing review! I couldn't reply to you in pm as you're a guest user :'( but seriously! Write down your idea, begin a little chapter, just a little something so you never forget it! I'm 100000000% positive it will be amazing. You don't have to post it up on here but definitely write it down somewhere. You won't regret it I promise you!**

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own (and will not own) TMI or any of Cassandra Clare's amazing characters, but the plot and everything else is all mine! :D**

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"Clary?" I hear my best friend and roommate Isabelle Lightwood call out from the other side of the door hesitantly. "Simon's here. He brought you Java Jones. It's out in the kitchen if you want it" she continued. I heard her still standing outside my door for a few minutes longer before sighing quietly and walking towards our living room. I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 2 years Raphael Santiago and had been holed up in my room for about a week now. Every morning I woke up with tear stained cheeks clutching the one photo I had of Raphael and I to my chest, and every day I would spend the day curled up in bed silently crying, praying that he would break into my room and beg for my forgiveness. But he didn't. So I continued laying around in bed all day only leaving for the bare necessities to keep me alive. Isabelle came to check on me a few times every day, asking if I needed anything or if I wanted to talk about what happened, and informing me that my childhood friend Simon Lewis had brought me coffee from my favourite coffee shop. I kept replaying the last time I saw Raphael over and over again in my head, hoping it would reveal any more answers as to why he broke his promise to me.

_"CLARY!" he bellowed at me, his deep brown eyes staring into my red rimmed ones, "I'm sick and tired of you doing this to me every time I try and get close to you! You shut me down and close yourself off to everyone! I'm sick and tired of it do you hear me?! I can't take this anymore! I understand that you've been hurt before, but you're not the only one! You're not the only one who's ever had their heart broken!" he ran his slender fingers through his chestnut curls, tugging them slightly in frustration as he paced around my room and mumbled quietly to himself. "You know what Clary, I'm done, I'm fucking done! I refuse to continue to be the only one in this relationship. For fuck sake, after two years you haven't even told me that you love me yet. I've wasted two fucking years of my life on you Clary Fray! Two whole fucking years! Fuck you, you bitch" he stormed his way out of my bedroom cursing. It was only when I heard the slam of my front door that those three little words escaped my lips._

_"I love you" I whispered, sinking down on to my floor and beginning to weep. I did love Raphael, with every fibre of my being. But I was too scared, too afraid he would leave me if I showed him my vulnerable side. I knew I was hurting him, I could see it in his eyes every single time I pushed him away or when I refused to respond to him whenever he told me that he loved me. I suppose it was a good thing I hadn't told him how I truly felt about him because just like all the others he had left me, and I doubted that three words would have made him stay._

The loud rumbling coming from my stomach was the thing that brought me back to the present. I knew why Raphael had left, it must have been hard to be in a relationship with someone who only cared about themselves, but I had hoped he could see past that. I guess he couldn't. Begrudgingly I peeled my tear stained Winnie the Pooh covers from around my petite body and climbed out. I cupped my ear and pushed it against my bedroom door, listening out to see if I could tell whether or not I could the voice of my best friends anywhere near. An almost impossible task to do through the solid wood door, yet I could hear the murmur voices chatting back and forth frantically. I cracked the door open slightly and the smell of fresh air and coffee hit me instantly. It was a smell I welcomed, it was comforting and made my spirits lift a little. Once I was outside of my bedroom I began to hear Simons voice chatting nervously to Isabelle. I hung at the corner just before the living room, and listened to their conversation.

"I'm worried about her Iz" Simon blurted out anxiously, I stuck my head out slightly from behind the corner, enough so I could see what was happening clearly, but not enough for Simon and Isabelle to see me. Simons chocolate brown eyes looked searched the room rapidly from behind his thickly rimmed glasses. He looked tensed as he looked around the room, and when he couldn't find what he was looking for, I watched him as his whole entire body relaxed. "Like I know it's hard for her, but I've never seen her react this badly to a break up before." Isabelle sighed.

"I know Si, I'm worried too. I hear her crying out every night and it scares me. I have a good mind to go and give Raphael a good yelling at for what he did to her."

"I just don't get it though Iz" Simon muttered. Everything was quiet for a few minutes. Before Isabelle began to talk again.

"You can't blame her. I mean with everything that's happened to her, ever since her d-, oh hey Clare! How are you today?" Isabelle beamed at me, dropping the topic of her conversation as I walked out from behind the wall. I gave up eavesdropping on my friends and I forced myself to walk around that corner. I was the first time I had actually seen my best friends since Raphael and I broke up. I had been avoiding them for so long, but seeing as it was the weekend and no one had work or university it seemed almost inevitable that I would go the next two days without seeing anyone. I grunted a response in Isabelle's direction, hoping that she wouldn't continue to badger me with her pointless questions. Sensing my reluctance to talk Isabelle looked at Simon, silently willing him to try and talk to me. I guess seeing as we had been friends for as long as I remembered, Isabelle had obviously hoped that I would respond to him if I wasn't willing to talk to anyone else. I watched as Simon got up from the black leather sofa and crossed the room in 4 steps due to his long limbs. I stood dumbfounded as he wrapped his slim arms around me tightly. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I refused to blink knowing that Isabelle was watching us, and I could see the sympathy and pity in her kohl rimmed eyes. I refused to cry in front of my friends again. I felt Simons arm pull me in tighter when I didn't respond to his gesture. I awkwardly hugged Simon back, patting his back a few times to let him know it was time to let go, but he didn't. I watched as Isabelle's face lit up as I hugged my best friend, flashing her pearly white teeth as she grinned.

"Simon. I can't breathe" I croaked at him. My throat felt dry and sore, and the voice that come out of my mouth sounded more like it belong to an elderly woman rather than a 21 year old one. I heard Isabelle giggle at my comment before Simon loosened his grip around my small frame and dropped his arms.

"Sorry Fray" he flashed me an apologetic smile, before adjusting his glasses. "I bought you Java Jones. It should still be hot if you want it" I nodded at Simons offer and he immediately ran to retrieve the paper cup that was emblazoned with the bright orange Java Jones logo. I gave Simon a small smile, silently thanking him before taking a sip of the hot liquid. I shivered as I felt the familiar sensation of the coffee warming me up and it travelled down my throat.

"Your mum called by the way Clare" Isabelle informed me, from behind Simon. "You should call her, she's worried about you" I groaned inwardly. I knew either Simon or Isabelle had called her shortly after the break up and she had been calling me constantly for the past week. I had been ignoring her calls, I didn't want to talk to her as she tried to hide her relief with fake sympathy for me. My mother Jocelyn had never liked Raphael and constantly told me that he would break my heart. I could imagine the smugness in her voice already.

"Thanks Izzy. I'll go and call her now I guess." Giving her minuscule small before turning around and heading back to my room. I couldn't help but hear the happy sighs and Isabelle's almost silent squeal. All the way back to my room, the look of pity that was in their eyes and the sympathy in their voices wouldn't leave my head. It made me feel pathetic and useless, and I hated feeling like that. It was then I decided that I wouldn't fall for another pretty boy who said all the right things to me. I would lock away what was left of my broken heart and seal them away forever, hoping that one day I could put the pieces back together. I would no longer be the Clary Fray who believed in knights in shining armour and true love, who poured herself into everything she did and devoted every fibre of her being to one person. I refused to allow anyone break my heart again. I knew what I had to do. I had to change myself completely, and from today I was going to be the Clary Fray who didn't believe in love.

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**A/N: I just want to say a huge thank you for everyone who viewed/reviewed/favourited/followed, I appreciate it immensely! I promise you now that a brand new chapter is on its way very very soon. It might take a few days because I want it to be perfect for you lovely people.**

**I welcome all reviews, negative or positive, I appreciate them all!**

**Until next time my darlings xo**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I am SO sorry it has taken me forever to update. I promise I didn't do it on purpose. I just finished my final college exams this week, so I was stressing about those, and then I had to rewrite and rewrite this chapter because I wanted it to be perfect for you all. I promise to never leave you guys waiting that long ever again! **

**Disclaimer: I FINALLY OWN TMI AND ALL OF THE AMAZING CHARACTERS IN IT ... Is what I wish I could say, but I can't because I don't. Cassandra Clare owns the TMI and all the characters (sobs quietly in the corner) I would say she's a lucky ducky, but alas just like our beloved Jace, I too am petrified of those demons.**

**All replies and thanks are at the end of this chapter. So here you are my darlings. Enjoy xo**

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_2 weeks later_

"Clary, will you stay still?!" Isabelle shrieked at me over the sound of the loud dance music that was playing. I was currently being held against my own will as Isabelle gave me a makeover suitable for our night out. Isabelle picked up the straighteners that laid on the table in front of me and began to run them over the piece of my unruly red hair that was in her hand.

"It's not my fault you decided to 'help me' get ready" I scowled at her through the mirror on her vanity table, trying to ignore the over powering smell of Isabelle's perfume and burnt hair.

"You and I both know that if I had let you dress yourself, you'd end up in jeans and a t shirt. Which you know by now isn't suitable for a club" she answered, refusing to meet my glare. I looked around the room I was in. Isabelle's room was amazing once you got past all clothes and make up that were strewn everywhere. I knew it was impossible to try and escape unless I wanted to break a bone in the process. Dark chocolate brown walls with pink accents on them (painted by me), surrounded us, with a large four poster bed pushed up against the far wall, and an even larger wardrobe in front of it. I looked at the table in front of me. It was covered in all different kinds of bottles, containers and other instruments of torture. I couldn't understand why a girl as beautiful as my best friend would need all of this. The mere thought of makeup frightened me. I watched Isabelle as she continued to do my hair. Her flawless, tanned skin was illuminated by the lights bordering her vanity mirror, her deep brown eyes were filled with excitement and her raven hair was pin straight and all the way down her back, swishing back and forth slightly whenever she moved. Yes, Isabelle Lightwood was beautiful, anyone with a right mind could see that.

"Can you tell me again why I am going to this club again?" I huffed reaching for my phone. I caught Isabelle rolling her eyes at my question.

"Because Clarissa," I flinched slightly in disgust as she used my full name. "1. We are celebrating Alec's birthday, 2. I have been waiting for the Pandemonium opening party for months, and 3. You have been moping around the house for too long now." She huffed setting down the final piece of red hair. I knew Isabelle was right I had been moping around the house way too much, but I still wasn't over my break up with Raphael, meaning the only time I actually left the apartment was either for work, university or visiting my mother. I was trying hard to get everything back to normal (minus Raphael), but I was struggling. It was a hard task forgetting about the guy who I had committed myself to for the past 2 years, but I was slowly getting there. I knew over the past few weeks I was pushing away my friends, I was trying not too but it was hard. I was attempting to shut off my emotions but at the same keep them open for the few people who hadn't hurt and betrayed me. I knew deep down that what I was doing wasn't healthy but it was the only way I knew how to cope. I sighed quietly as Isabelle began prodding my face with brushes and her fingers.

The strange girl stared back at me. She was beautiful. Her fiery, red hair hang straight and sleek down her back reaching the top of her petite waist. Her pale skin was milky and flawless, her cheekbones defined, and her lips were a matte red colour a shade or two darker than her hair colour. The black lace dress she had on clung to her body like a second skin, accentuating the few curves she did have, and reached her mid-thigh, whilst the strappy heels she wore made her legs appear longer and shapely. But what stood out the most to me were her eyes. Her eyes were a vibrant forest green and large, due to the simple yet elegant, cat eyeliner and full lashes. She looked like a Victoria's Secret Model, you know like one of those one who called themselves angels. There was no way in hell that the girl staring back was me. It was until I saw Isabelle standing next to the girl in the reflection draping her arm over her shoulder that I believed it. I was still in shock yes, but she was me. I looked over at Isabelle through the mirror looking her over, the red midi dress she wore clung to her voluptuous figure and made her appear even more tan than she already was. As always she wore her signature nude glossy lips and black smoky eye make-up. Her legs seemed to go on for days and it didn't help that she was wearing heels as well. Her onyx black hair was curled with a few strands that were framing her face pinned up.

"We look so HOT!" Isabelle exclaimed giddily, giving me a massive grin. I rolled my eyes at her when she took out her phone and began to take pictures. I hated pictures, but somehow I had a new found confidence in me and didn't seem to find Isabelle taking snap shots of me. Maybe it was the tequila shots she had given me earlier, but nevertheless I returned her grin and began to pose alongside my best friend.

I felt blissfully happy as I danced alongside my two best friends, sipping on my third cocktail of that night. Music pulsed out throughout the crowded club, energising my body as I moved my hips to the beat of the music. My eyes wondered around the club searching for the birthday boy and Isabelle's older brother Alec Lightwood, trying to discover where he disappeared to after leaving our side a few songs ago. Shrugging it off, I realised that Alec was probably with his boyfriend somewhere in a dark, secluded corner eating each other's faces off.

"Do you want another drink Clare?" Simon asked above the music indicating to my now empty glass I held on to.

"That'd be great" I replied flashing him a toothy smile, and with that Simon vanished into the crowd of people in the direction of the bar. I continued to dance alongside Isabelle, until she was dragged off to dance by a random guy. Thankfully, I wasn't left alone for too long because as soon as Isabelle was whisked off Simon came back with a bottle of beer and another one of the cocktails that Isabelle and I had been downing.

"Where's Isabelle?" Simon shouted, his eyes searching for the girl he was crushing on. It was quite cute if you asked me. Simon was a geek, he loved all things sci-fi and to do with games, he was even fluent in Klingon and Elvish, something I was secretly extremely jealous of. He'd known Isabelle for as long as I had known her, since the beginning of year 7, but it wasn't until the end of year 10 that he told me that he liked her. That was 6 years ago now and he still hadn't told Isabelle how he felt about her, despite all my protestations and inspiring speeches. He had tried to date now and again but it would always end badly when the girl realised that Simon was in fact in love with someone else.

"Over there" I answered hesitantly nodding in the direction where Isabelle was grinding against a guy. I could tell in his eyes that Simon was jealous the minute his chocolate brown eyes landed on the dancing pair. I watched as his smile was replaced with a small frown and his body deflated slightly. I felt sorry for Simon as he watched his dream girl on the dance floor, but I couldn't blame Isabelle, she was completely oblivious of Simon's feelings for her.

"You okay Si?" I whispered into his ear, as task which normally was impossible but thanks to the 6 inch shoes I was wearing I was able to do. He looked at me with sad eyes and shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

"You wanna dance?" I asked hopefully, but Simon just shook his head in reply.

"Sorry Clare" he shrugged apologetically, "I think I'm just gonna go back to our table and sit for a bit. I'm feeling a bit tired." Shooting me a sad smile he turned around and walk to the far corner of the club where we had a table reserved for our group. So once again I left by myself. Sipping on the drink I began to start dancing again waiting for one of my best friends to come and join me again. All the alcohol I had drunk was catching up to me, I began to feel light headed and giddy. I need air and fast. I placed my empty glass on the nearest flat surface to me and started waving my arms trying to get Isabelle's attention. After a couple of minutes and a few weird looks from the crowd around me I finally got her attention. I pointed to door and then stuck my hand in the air, indicating that I was going and would be back in 5 minutes, and once I had gotten a nod and a thumbs up in reply I pushed my way through to the exit.

Cigarette smoke hit me in the face the minute I walked out of the club. I walked over to a slightly quieter area where no one seemed to be smoking and around my arms around my self, breathing in the London air. The dizziness seemed to fade away instantly allowing me to survey my surroundings. There was a guy who seemed to be my age, maybe a little older, standing slightly away from his group of friends. He was gorgeous, messy black hair that curled slightly at the ends which contrasted perfectly with his pale smooth skin. He was tall, muscular and slim. I continued to stare at the beautiful boy across from me, until I noticed a pair of almost black eyes boring into my green ones. I smiled sheepishly, knowing that I had been caught, and the mysterious guy flashed me a grin in return before laughing at what someone in his group had just said. Embarrassed I walked back towards the club, stopping abruptly when I noticed a familiar head of brown curls heading in my direction._ Raphael._ I began to panic, looking for a way to avoid my ex. I walked back slowly to where I was standing before trying to get my thoughts together, and suddenly inspiration hit me. I walked across the designated smoking area towards the guy I was staring at early. I tapped his shoulder to gain his attention and he spun around almost instantaneously with a question look etched onto his face.

"Quick question, yes or no. Are you single?" I asked rapidly noticing that Raphael had spotted me and was walking towards me. The stranger looked baffled at my question, his brow furrowing slightly.

"Erm, yes I am. Why?" he replied after a few seconds and I grinned at his response. I grabbed a hold of his crisp white shirt and pulled his lips to mine, just as Raphael had reached me. His lips were still against mine momentarily, clearly in shock of what was happening, still I kept my lips on his until I heard him curse to himself in Spanish and the sound of his retreating footsteps. I inwardly sighed with relief and began to pull away from the guy who I was kissing, but before I could I felt his strong muscular arms wrap around my petite waist pulling me flush against his body and with a low growl he deepened the kiss. I felt my shiver as our lips moved against one another's, his arms around me felt comfortable and safe. I tangled my fingers into his silky black locks, pulling him harder against my already swollen lips. I didn't want to stop kissing him. He felt safe. We both pulled away a few moments later, my lips already missing the feel of his. I stepped out of his hold awkwardly and gave the guy a small smile. His eyes held something in them that I hadn't seen in a long while and it made me squirm slightly.

"Erm, I'm sorry about that. I saw my ex and kind of panicked" I explained quickly, blushing under his intense gaze. His eyes lit up as he began to laugh lightly. His laugh sounded like music to my ears.

"Don't worry about it cutie. I'm certainly not complaining about it" he chuckled, his words comforted me, despite that fact I was completely embarrassed about what just happened. He outstretched his hand and I took it quickly.

"Sebastian, it's nice to meet you …?" he announced.

"Clary" I responded.

"Clary" he said with a smile. My name sounded precious and beautiful on his lips. "It's nice to meet you Clary." We stood in silence, just staring at each other.

"So, wha-" Sebastian began to ask before he was cut off by a familiar female voice shouted my name. I looked over Sebastian's shoulder and saw Isabelle run out, with Simon and Alec half carrying a very drunk Magnus between them.

"CLARY?! WE NEED TO GO. MAGNUS IS DRUNK" Isabelle roared over the chatting crowd. Thankfully they all ignored her and went on with their own conversations.

"ONE MINUTE IS! GET A CAB!" I shouted in response before turning my attention back to Sebastian.

"Sorry I have to go" I apologised quietly, and turned off to walk away. A hand landed on my shoulder and span me around so I was facing Sebastian again. I was confused, he just saw what was happening with my friends and he just expected me to stay. I was becoming angry and extremely annoyed, until I saw the glare of a phone screen in front of me.

"I can't let you walk off without getting your number now can I?" he mumbled. My anger dissolved at his words. Quickly taking his phone I punched my number before pushing it in his hands. Sebastian promised to call me tomorrow before we said our goodbyes. As I rushed to where Isabelle was waiting with guys I looked over my shoulder to see Sebastian watching me as I walked away from him. I waved at him which he returned before I reached the waiting cab that Isabelle had managed to flag down. I climbed in next to the leggy brunette grinning widely. Simon shot me a questioning look which I shrugged off.

"Clare, how comes you have lipstick smudged all over your face?" Isabelle asked looking at me, wiggling her eyebrows at me suggestively. I felt my face heat up at her question and I moved my face out of the way of her looks and towards the window.

"No reason" I mumbled and in the windows reflection I caught Isabelle rolling her eyes to heaven and back, but I ignored it. I watched as we zoomed past the busy London streets.

The minute Isabelle and I walked into our apartment I ran off into my room before Isabelle could hound with questions about the night. I pulled on my pyjamas, removed my make up and tied my hair up in to a messy bun before climbing under my purple duvet. I grabbed my phone and went to put it to charge before noticing that I received a message from an unknown number.

**_Sweet dreams beautiful. Sebastian x_**

The text made my stomach tingle. I saved his number and put my phone on my bedside table. I fell asleep with smile on my face for the first time in a while.

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**A/N: So I finally updated. I hope you guys like it. It might seem really crappy and that but its currently 4am in London and I'm half asleep but I just wanted to get this out for all you beautiful souls that read my story. I'll have the next chapter out by sometime this week now that I have no more school, well until September at least.**

**Lovemyblackcat: I am sorry I was able to reply earlier! I really hope you can forgive me, and yes I shall explain. The beginning was kind of a summary of sorts without trying to give away too much of the story. I don't want to say too much and give away spoilers and all that jazz, and I didn't mean to type Seb in the previous chapter. I was changing it so that Clary was with Raph, because another reviewer gave me a really awesome idea in the first chapter. So sorry for the confusion. And yes! Even if you don't have an account just yet, write and keep writing. But please do write soon, and if you decide to publish it let me know so I can be the first one to read it! Hahaha. I'm so glad you loved my last chapter you're review made me smile so much. Thank you for your support it means the world to me. ****Btw I didn't see your p.s. in your first review. I prefer cats, in fact I have 2, my older cat Jingles in currently curled up next to me as I type this. I hope you like this chapter x**

**Well my darlings, please please please review. I'd love to hear thoughts about this chapter. Thank you to all my readers and everyone who favourited and followed this story. You guys are amazing, it makes my heart swell when I get a new email from FanFiction that someone new has reviewed, favourited or followed. And guy can I just say 231 views! YOU ARE AMAZING! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. I hope you love this chapter as much I loved writing it. **

**Until next time my lovelys xo**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own TMI or the lovely characters in the series, Cassandra Clare does *sits in corner and cries* **

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Light streamed through the purple curtains, dancing over my face and waking me up from my peaceful and dreamless sleep. I found that my head was not hurting thankfully, but I could not say the say the same about my feet. I could feel the ache radiate throughout my body even though they had no weight on them. I mentally cursed Isabelle for convincing me to get all dressed up and going out last night. _It was all that bad though. You did get a cute guys number._ I thought to myself, instantly remembering our kiss from the night before. My fingers instinctively ran themselves over my lips as I smiled at the memory of his lips on mine. _Stop it Clary! Get rid of that smile. That guy was nothing but a prop to help you avoid Raphael. You're never going to see him again anyways._ My subconscious scolded me. My phone began to ring from my bedside table. I picked it up and looked at the caller ID wondering who could be calling me so early. It was Sebastian, my face lit up the minute I saw his number, it was almost as if he had heard my inner thoughts and decided to prove them wrong.

"Hey Sebastian"

"Good morning gorgeous. Did you sleep well?"

"Very well thanks, you?"

"I slept the best I've ever slept in ages. Thanks to a pretty little redhead I met last night who played an important part of my dreams" I giggled at his comment. _Woah this guy is smooth._ Very smooth indeed.

"Well that's good to hear" I replied with a smile still etched on my face.

"I was thinking of asking that pretty little redhead out today. Do you think she'd be up for lunch at Five Guys?" his voice filled with hope. My stomach growled loudly at the mention of my favourite burger place. I inwardly groaned at the noise that erupted a few seconds ago and hoped that Sebastian didn't hear it.

"I'm sure if you ask her nicely she'd be more than happy to go to lunch with you." I could almost hear him smile over the phone.

"So, Clary. Would you like to go to lunch with me today?" he asked quietly and slightly rushed. _Clary, say no. Don't go out with him. You'll only ended up regretting it._ My subconscious warned me, deep down I knew she was right but at this moment in time I didn't care.

"Yes Sebastian, I'd love to go to lunch with you" I replied. Despite my comment earlier, I heard a shocked gasp come from my phone speaker.

"Great! So I'll meet you at Covent Garden at like 3:30?" he suggested.

"Sure"

"Ok. It's a date then" and once again I began to grin. We talked a little more after that before saying our goodbyes. I rolled onto my back letting my body sink into my mattress before grabbing my phone again to check the time. 2pm. Thankfully Covent Garden was only 30 minutes away from my apartment, which left me plenty of time to get ready. I jumped out of bed and began to get ready.

Covent Garden was packed as per usual. I struggled to make my way through the endless crowd of people, being 5'1 had its disadvantages. I had finally made my way past the jungle of limbs, reaching the clearing just a few meters away from where I supposed to be meeting Sebastian. I saw him leaning against a brick wall, typing something on his phone a playful grin stretched across his face. I took a minute to admire him, the way I couldn't last night. The way his curls shone in the late afternoon sun, the way his eyes twinkled as he laughed. My hands itched to sketch him like this, he seemed so carefree and happy. Probably a weird thing to say about someone had I only met just over 12 hours ago. I snapped myself out of my trance like state before smooth down the black, flowy blouse I had decided to wear and searching my handbag for my mirror to check the very minimal make up I had put on. Deciding I looked decent enough I walked over to where the handsome boy was waiting for me, my converses slapping against the grey concrete. His eyes lifted from phone when he heard me approaching. His grin dropped and his eyes held something unrecognisable. Seeing his reaction my mood dropped and I wanted to run away. He realised that now he was sober, that I was no longer worth his time. I turned around and started to walk away.

"Clary?" I shuddered involuntarily at the way my name sounded coming from his lips. I could ignore him and walk away but my body had other plans. I spun in his direction, my arms folded across my chest.

"I guessed what you were thinking already Sebastian, I don't really want to hear about how much of a disappointment to you know that you are in clear state of mind thanks very much" I answered coldly. I watched his face for confirmation of my statement but I saw none, if anything the Sebastian looked confused.

"D-d-disappointment? What are you on about?" he stammered out. I felt confused, was I wrong? "Yes you do look different, but my God Clary, you're far from a disappointment. You're far more beautiful than I can remember." I felt my face heat up in embarrassment, I couldn't believe that I had snapped at him like that._ Well I suppose that is a good way to get rid of men._

"Oh. Well then I'm sorry about that just now. If you want forget about this date then I can completely understand, what I did was extremely rude." _I'd be running for the hills if I were him._ A frown marred his gorgeous face and fell of it almost instantaneously.

"Forget about this date? Never." He replied with a dazzling grin and I couldn't help but grin back at him. I felt a strong hand wrap itself around mine.

"Let's go and eat" he said, pulling me towards the doors of Five Guys.

We talked about everything and anything as we munched on our food before walking out hand in hand. The sun was shining and for London it was a relatively warm day. I reached for my phone in my pocket to check the time, when I noticed the numerous texts and missed calls from Isabelle. I had told her I was going out today, I knew I should call her back and find out what was wrong, but I really didn't want to leave Sebastian's company right now, so I slid my phone back into my pocket concluding that Isabelle could let me know what was happening when I got home. We strolled down towards Trafalgar Square, as we both decided that due to today's reasonably pleasant weather that we wanted to dangle our feet in the fountains.

"So you wanna tell me why you were trying to hide from your ex last night?" Sebastian asked as we neared Trafalgar Square. His question made me stop abruptly in the middle of the crowded street. I hadn't spoken to anyone about Raphael since the breakup and a wave of emotion that I had kept bottled up for the past few weeks washed over me suddenly. I looked up at Sebastian knowing that he was waiting for an answer but from the look on his face I know that he could tell that I was upset.

"Clary, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, I swear. In fact it's the complete opposite of what I wanted to do." He mumbled guiltily. I felt a pang for this sweet boy who after only knowing me for less than a day was doing everything in his power to make me smile. I looked up into his deep, dark eyes and found the reassurance and strength that I needed to tell him this story behind the circumstances in which we met the night before.

"Don't apologise Sebastian please, I'm not upset, well maybe a little but you're not the reason for it at all." I gave him a small smile as I noticed the feeling of relief pass over him. "I just haven't spoken about my ex since we broke up and seeing as that was fairly recent, I haven't been able to confront some of the emotions I've been feeling toward him yet. It wasn't exactly what you would call an amicable break up, in fact it was quite hard on me. Things were said that I doubt I'll ever be able to forget, and just seeing him last night mad me panic. I'm sorry about last night again by the way." My face was burning as I began to remember the way I grabbed Sebastian and kissed him, effectively avoiding an awkward conversation with Raphael.

"Oh please, don't be sorry about last night, it was one of the best nights of my life." Sebastian beamed at me, his onyx eyes crinkling slightly at the corners. "In fact I'd quite like to do it again." I hadn't noticed the distance between us getting gradually smaller and smaller until Sebastian titled his head to rest it on my forehead. I felt his eyes flutter close as his breathing began to get deeper. He pressed his lips to mine softly and our lips began to move over each other's slowly. I felt Sebastian move away too quickly for my liking, the lingering feeling of his lips on me leaving me slightly dazed. When I reopened my eyes, Sebastian was grinning down at me obviously proud of the effect he had over me. My cheeks began to heat up and I turned away from his intense gaze quickly to hide my tomato red face, I heard a small chuckle come from his direction causing my face to blush deeper. Embarrassed, I grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of Trafalgar Square.

"Come on, let's go before English weather decides to be English weather and rain all over us." I stated.

We reached my apartment an hour later, we both stood awkwardly outside my door, neither one of us knowing what the next move would be. We stood in silence for another few minutes before Sebastian spoke up.

"I had a great time today Clary"

"So did I, thank you Sebastian" I replied.

"You're welcome, I'd love to see you again, would that be ok?" he asked politely. _No that wouldn't be okay! _My subconscious decided to rear its ugly head once again. I was about to reply before I heard a familiar deep voice from behind my door, I felt my face scrunch up into a scowl as I tried to place the voice. Sebastian unfortunately hadn't heard the voice and misread my facial expression and his face dropped making it seem like he was disappointed. He opened his mouth to speak before I interrupted him.

"No, it's not what you think. I thought I heard something come from my apartment, but it's probably nothing." I smiled at him reassuringly and his facial expression changed immediately. "I'd love to see you again Sebastian." He flashed me a grin that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, before leaning down to place a small peck on my cheek. I smiled shyly at him. I heard the voice getting louder from inside my apartment, and heard Isabelle's retort instantly. I began to wonder what could be happening.

"I should be heading off, but I'll message you later okay?" Sebastian stated, I nodded in return before he turned to leave. I watched him as he walked down towards the main entrance, and as if he felt my eyes on him he spun around to face and give me his heart stopping grin before he disappeared out of the door and onto the darkening London streets. The minute Sebastian left I began to worry about the ruckus that was currently happening within my apartment, I quickly opened the door before rushing to where I could hear the voices coming from. My feet rooted themselves to floor at the entrance to the living room where I saw Isabelle red faced and shouting angrily at none other than my ex, Raphael.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked quietly once the shock of seeing my ex passed over me. Both Isabelle and Raphael turned their heads to look at me. I refused to look at Raphael, so I kept my gaze on Isabelle, who looked relieved to see me.

"Clary, thank God you're here! Can you tell this idiot to get out please?!" Isabelle cried pointing in the direction of where my ex stood. I felt his intense stare on me as I crossed to where Isabelle stood.

"What's going on here?" I asked again, my anger bubbling up. How dare he come here again after what he said to me? I saw Isabelle swallow visibly before opening her moth to speak.

"We need to speak Clarissa." Raphael stated interrupting my flatmate. I spun on spot and pointed my murderous glare at him. Raphael stared back at me impassively but I knew that behind his bored eyes he was furious.

"What the hell do you need to say to me now Raphael? Wish to remind me again of how much of a cold hearted bitch I am?" I could feel all the emotions I had been feeling for the past few weeks wash over me all at once. I heard the click of Isabelle's heels retreat in the room, clearly not wanting to witness a potential murder. _Traitor, _I thought, she would definitely be getting some choice words from me once I had dealt with the man currently standing in my living room.

"Well?" I prompted when Raphael didn't reply. I watched as his dark brown eyes looked me up and down, a scowl setting on his face.

"You're wearing make-up. You never wear make-up." He stated and I rolled my eyes at his statement. I watched as he thought of something and his fists clenched at his sides. "Where were you Clarissa? I've been waiting for over 2 hours for you to get back."

"I was on a date. Not that it should matter to you." I shot back. Raphael stepped closer to me, a murderous rage consuming him.

"What with that dick from last night? Really Clarissa. I would have thought that you, the prude, would have some standards." He growled. I felt my body shake with anger. How dare he?

"My life has nothing to do with you anymore asshole. Now unless you have something important to say to me. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY APARTMENT."

"Do not talk to me like that Clarissa. I did have something to say. I wanted to apologise, but if you want to be a whore and throw yourself on anyone who will give you attention then be my guest." He muttered. The room was silent for a few moments before the sound of skin against skin rang throughout the air. Raphael's eyes widened before he clutched the side of his face that I had just slapped. I stared at hand in shock regretting my actions. I wanted to apologise for slapping him, until I remembered what he had said to me, so instead I looked up at him again with a vicious glare.

"Get of out my apartment Raphael. Now." I snarled quietly. Without another word he walked off in the direction of my front door. I stood frozen in my spot until I heard the door shut with a might slam that rang throughout the entire apartment. I sagged in relief, when I realised he had finally gone. Despite what had happened, I wasn't upset, nor was I angry. In fact I felt relieved, like I could finally move on with life instead of moping around the apartment. _God riddance, I say,_ my subconscious muttered and I could finally say that for once I agreed with her. I felt my face spilt in two with a grin and skipped off in the direction of Izzy's room to tell her all about my date with Sebastian.

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**A/N: So guess who finally updated? Please don't kill me.**

**I am so sorry that it's taken so long to update this story, but life got in the way. I started a new course at college so basically right now, Sociology, Psychology and Law essays are taking up all my time and learning everything for 3 subjects that is normally learnt in 2 years in a year is pretty intense and my education is my priority right now. The road to becoming a lawyer is a hard one hahaha.** **I'm not gonna say that a new chapter will be up soon because then I would be lying, but I can promise you that there will be a new chapter. I just don't know when and I hope you all understand why. Despite everything that happens I am determined to finish this story!**

**I hope you all liked the chapter, and please review, I love getting them.**

**Thank you everyone, lots of love and kisses my angels xoxo**


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